When you are Goldman Sachs ordinary words take on extraordinary meanings:
Lemonade: A structured-financial deal Goldman mixed up to make bad loans go down easy on investors. Used in a sentence, from a Goldman email: “They structured like mad and travelled the world, and worked their tails off to make some lemonade from some big old lemons.”
Then we learned that the Synthetic CDO’s over which the SEC is suing Goldman don’t actually contain any real bonds, but just mathematical representations put together by Goldman’s rocket scientists.
But let’s be honest, Synthetic CDO’s are so 2008. And we know from listening to Lord Blankfein that Goldman Sachs merely makes a market for whatever commodity their customers require.
What can we expect next from those Goldman wizards that would up the ante?
Wait for it … drum roll please … OK, here we go.
Genetically Modified CDO’s to replace those (now discredited) Synthetic CDO’s.
Yes! And these would be the lemons for their new batch of lemonade.
Pass the vodka.
Note: Believe it or not, these “lematoes” are actually real and were created several years ago by a team of Israeli scientists as part of an experiment in genetic engineering.