Not A Mystery
Finance
JP Morgan FUBAR’d
As tempting as it is, I’m not going to pile on JP Morgan for their $4 Billion write-off. Really. I have to give Jamie Dimon credit (sic) for his candid review of the situation: The bank’s strategy was flawed, complex, poorly reviewed, poorly executed and poorly monitored, Mr. Dimon said … He called the mistake … Continue reading
Muppet Taxpayer Triumphs Over The IRS
[Disclaimer: Since starting up the blog again, my goal has been to avoid posts that ranted against the daily insanity visited upon us by our institutions. But after filing my 2011 taxes that goal has been set aside for today.] This from my inbox, where I am being Congratufuckinglated for having the IRS Accept my … Continue reading
Surprise! Bankers Want To Be My Fcuk Buddy.
During the greatest transfer of wealth from savers to borrowers in history, my banker has a better idea. Instead of depositing my savings in their institutions (for which I get essentially zero interest), they are steering me towards the bank’s common stock, promising several percentage points of yield and price appreciation.
Next We’ll Be Streaming The Big Mac Index
Talk about fast news cycles. It’s the Economist’s Big Mac Index for 2010 … again! In a sign of these unusually uncertain times The Economist has speeded up their news cycle, and in the process seems to be taking themselves and their index more seriously. Used to be we’d get annual updates to the index, … Continue reading
It’s Hard To Argue With Gravity While Ordering A Hamburger
Being an expert must be harder these days. Nobody seems to have any good answers to tough questions about the economy. Morningstar pundits are usually pretty good when it comes to personal financial advice. But in is a recent answer on how to maintain yourself in retirement, they managed to coin the phrase ‘pre-tire’ when … Continue reading
Volcker Rule Gives Investment Banks A “Woodie”
The US Congress is getting close to passing new financial regulation, attempting to rein in our friends on Wall Street. Pending legislation would limit Investment Banks’ ability to trade for their own accounts, and effectively bar them from trading derivatives. The bankers are pushing back. Surprised? The big banks argue that the Volcker proposal is … Continue reading
A Dead Hand Bounce For Our Stock Markets
The good news is that if a catastrophic event destroys mankind our investments will be extremely well managed after we are gone. The bad news is that the computers doing it may be trading for their own accounts instead of ours. This theater of the absurd scenario might be more plausible than you think, and occurred to me last … Continue reading
Stretched For Income? Invest In Gatorade [Bottles]
Get a grip, because I’m about to tell you how to double your money with no risk. While simultaneously bringing new meaning to the phrase, “go green”. Let’s talk recycling. Like me, I’m sure that many of your beer-drinking friends go on about the hundreds of dollars they ‘make’ by taking their crushed aluminum cans … Continue reading
Lobbyists Do It In The Dark, Bankers Post It In The Cellar
In a nutshell, the way financial institutions (Big Bank) make their money is by knowing more than the other guy (that would be you). They will famously say that their priority is to serve their customers, and that capitalism depends upon them for the efficient allocation of capital. Also, that they are all in favor … Continue reading
From Skinny Cows To Fatted Calves
Close on the hooves of our Skinny Cow report comes further bovine news from Wall Street, which we’ll put under the category of Fatted Calves. Fatted calf is a metaphor or symbol of festive celebration and rejoicing for someone’s long-awaited return. It derives from the parable of the prodigal son in the New Testament. In … Continue reading
Guess What, ATT Is The New Material Girl
Last week we noted ATT’s whining about a $1 billion [non-cash] charge they were being forced to take because of Obamacare. In fact the new law just eliminated a 7-year old scam allowing them to ‘double-dip’ by taking a tax deduction on healthcare premiums that were actually being paid (for them) by the government. A … Continue reading
